Friend

Here's how I know you're my friend:

I've known you for years and never get tired of your jokes and your stories. Especially if they put me in a really good light.

You will let me borrow a pair of your panties if I need to, and be polite enough not to ask for them back. Actually, it's probably more like you're being forgetful and/or don't want to wear panties again that someone else has worn, but whatever.

You won't mind hearing about my broken heart. Again. Just like I'll really love it when you point out from a thousand angles just what a bullet narrowly dodged he was. Again.

You don't mind the fact that I laugh like a horse and often draw looks when in crowded public places.

You remind me that I said it was the last drink like 6 hours ago and stuff me in a cab with or without straitjacket.

-AND-

You love dogs.

To my friends, thank all the nonexistent deities for you! Cheers, cheers!