Of the Different Modes of Acquiring the Non-Understanding of Things, or One Girl's Touching Journey Into Cynicism and Misanthropy
Friday, May 16, 2008
So, it is 9:48 CST and I am still trying to locate a graduation cap for tomorrow since I do not have one. I've canvassed all the old Tulane grads, and even sent a mendiant email to Academic Services, but no success. So, walking across stage tomorrow might be a big "if." Hopefully, because I am graduating with honors and need some love. Even if it's with a stupid hat and an outfit that makes me look like Harry Potter.
I know I should probably ask a friend to just pass one up for enough time to let me walk across the stage, but I have too much pride. And I think after all the money I've invested in that stupid school they could lend me a spare.
Speaking of pride, a little complaint about my parentals. My dad raised my sister and I to be women who considered themselves on par with men. Meaning, we played on the boy's teams, hung out with guy friends, don't take things to heart and don't think others should, etc. The gender equality thing was a given.
So, I don't know why in the hell my father decides after a couple of drinks to pretty much tell every guy around that I am single. Which puts me in a gazillion awkward positions, since I hope I'm not the girl who hooks up with undergraduate boys and people's relatives. That will probably be the last time I chance taking him to a friend's crawfish boil.
Of course, the choice after 5 beers was either him waxing sentimental about how wonderful I was (always a crowd-pleaser, especially when couple with my mortification) or trying to hook me up with every single guy in sight because somehow it's not enough that I've managed to get through 29 years basically kicking ass without tying the knot. And he's a Yankee to boot, so he doesn't even have the "southern males marry at 20" excuse. Geesh Dad, grow up!!
I'm not single. I mean, technically I am, but I'm not. I'm not interested in getting married right at this moment. Or even dating. There are exactly three things in my life right now that interest me: 1) finding a graduation cap before tomorrow; 2) passing the bar; and 3) spending the summer getting down to my pre-law school size which has been reinforced by the gazillion pounds I've put on from parental free food.
Hm, so parents are good for something after all ...
Crunching conundrums, blasting boredom, eliciting criticism, languishing while laughing, blaming poetry (and/or the lack of) for all of my choices, leaving it to the stars or the people better equipped to handle it, cackling at catastrophe and saying sayanora to sourpusses and sore losers