Friday, May 30, 2008


I really dislike doctors, especially when they prescribe medication that makes you sicker than the problem you had in the first place. And they say stupid stuff to me like "well, if you had cancer the radiation would make you sick, but it'd keep you alive."

This is where they've got it all wrong. If I had cancer, I would buy a house in the middle of the woods and try to finish the Top 1001 books of all time list. And then, when it got really bad, I would hire someone to shoot me. I'm sure there are plenty of takers for that one.

But somehow doctors don't appreciate this anecdote.


figment said...

ha! you kill me. come on, though, what about the heroine overdose? that's still my vote. more bang for the buck.

Startickler said...

After our conversation regarding that, I've given it some more thought.

I think the proper way would be to give myself a thorough enema, pop several phenergans for possible projectile vomiting, and then shoot away. Just a little bit messy.

I also find it troubling that I am using my bar study breaks to plan the perfect suicide.