Monday, December 1, 2008


I got an anonymous message today from a guy/girl from (of course) Canada about how arrogant, shallow, and insensitive my blog is.

Um, yeah. That's kind of the point. Do you think I don't recognize that worrying that your local winesmith thinks you're getting cheap should not be TRULY at the top of my worries? Or that getting run over by a 400-pound woman in a wheelchair compares to watching a country explode into civil war and not being able to eat anything for days? Don't they get that I'm kidding? And that I make very serious efforts to watch films that portray all that suffering, while occasionally pausing to turn my heater up higher or to get something out of the fridge. I'm, like, aware. And stuff. I even use pages of the Economist to plug rat holes.

Let me sqare with you, my non-fans.

My goal is to make this blog a sandtrap, a time suck, a minute you can never recover. That's why every once in awhile I write open sensitive entries. To lure you into thinking I am human so I can then lambast you with teratomas, and discussions about dead bodies. Because I'm allowed to do both. This is my blog. If you don't like it, nothing but your excellent taste is forcing you to read it.

I would also like to note for the record I have said nothing insulting about Canadians in this entry. And that took a lot out of me. I may not be turning the correct cheek, but I'm turning one of them. But let's just think about this happy lesson.

Q: Why did God make your part of Canada so very very cold?

A: He hates you.

Q: Why did God make New Orleans warm with bars open any hour of the day or night?

A: He loves me. And my blog.

Thank you for your kind consideration and have a nice day.

Keep reading!



figment said...

and let me guess... the cowardly commenter was anonymous. i find it hilarious that these losers feel the need to leave such unsolicited and useless opinions on someone's personal blog space where all they need to do is... click away. idiots.

Some Girl said...

Hi hon! I enjoy reading your "insensitive" blog. It's so funny! Keep it up.:)

PS - The word verification for this comment is "anals." Tee hee.

steetoa said...

You know, if you actually happen to be Canadian or somewhat offended by it or whatever, why not do something more effective... than just bitch. Are Canadians proud? Are they anti-American? I'd have no idea since they get no media attention and no one seems to care. Poor them. But still...

Startickler said...

It was less getting the comment than the preachy tone of it. It's like when people tell me not to be sexist I feel like being more sexist to piss them off. But that's hard to do since I'm not sexist, so I wouldn't know how to become more so.

Bad example.

I guess what I'm just trying to say is that you're entitled to your opinion, just don't think you'll change mine.

Do you think they have INsensitivity training? Because I'd like to work hard to market this blog as a learning tool.