I got dumped. I guess this is something a normal girl would get kind of upset about, particularly if it came about in the retarded fashion that it did. But I'm really not. My one regret is that I never got to drop the bomb about not knowing what I whispered to the guy in my post-bar success drunken state.* Now it would just be vindictive, and this bitch is not that unclassy. Well, it did make my facebook status, but that's just the norm these days.
Anyway, here's how it happened. One morning, while I was desperately trying to keep his 150 pound Irish wolfhound from deflowering me with his snout or his cats from clawing my eyes out, he suggested that we get some ice cream. We talked about ice cream a lot, since we didn't really have the same taste in literature.**
Anyway, as he lives in the Quarter, I suggested he come uptown to Sucre(this has the accent, but I don't know how to do that), which probably has the best gelato going. At that point he told me he didn't like that idea because Sucre is not a word.
"Yes, it is," I said. "It's a French word. It means sweet."
"My sister says it's not a word."
"Maybe your sister doesn't know French."
"She has a PhD in French."
"Well, maybe she got it online."
I could tell he was somewhat irritated by my levity in questioning the knowledge of the eldest of his hallowed siblings, but it blew over.
So, a few days later, he dropped me an email asking me for ice cream. Which ensued this nasty little exchange:
Me: They have banana and nutella ice cream at Sucre. If that's a word.
Him: The mistake was that my brother thought it was an accent greve. He asked my sister. She said, "no such word."
Me: Your brother is an idiot. At least now I know your sister is not. Also, it's an accent grave, not greve.
Him: No. He is very smart. He just misread the sign in passing.
Me: If I read a sign that look wrong, I'd double check before impugning a local business.
Him: If I knew someone whose best friends are his siblings, I'd think twice before impugning their character.
At that point I apologized for being so combative, then he lectured me on my manners. At which point I retracted my apology and told him he was being a little oversensitive. He then told me he didn't think we should see each other anymore, and I said "fine."
Lame. Hilarious, but lame.
Oh well, at least I don't feel bad about my little Maine fling now. Oh, who am I kidding? I never felt bad about that anyway.
*I am starting to think that I asked him to read me some poetry.
**I am also remembering that when he did read me some poetry, I told him it sucked.
Sometimes things are just not meant to be.
At Sucre, they also have coconut basil sorbet, and it knocks your socks off.
Can I Get A Witness?
5 days ago