Saturday, July 11, 2009


I was a little confused today by a woman standing on the side of the road holding a sign. Besides the do-rag holding back her grey bobbed hair, she looked pretty clean -- not the type of person you'd find standing by an intersection holding a sign up. And her sign was not of the usual "Need employment/food/home/ride/drugs" ilk.

It simply said "Need ice cubes."

I think this was just a subtle way of getting money. It's not like people just drive around with bags of ice. I mean, usually if I see someone who needs food, I'll totally give them the crust of my sandwich bread or something, but this woman was not giving me the impression that she would accept me dumping the ice from my soda into her palm. So, the only way to help her out with the ice cube situation would be to slip her a five.

BUT the problem doesn't end there. Then she'll need transportation to get the ice from the store and then back to her house. So, you end up giving her a ride, because if you don't she won't be able to carry the bag, and the ice will melt and she'll just have water and she'll have to stand by the side of the road again until someone else comes along who is sympathetic with her ice-less situation.

But then the plot thickens even more. Because she probably doesn't have a house - so where is she going to keep this ice? Now you have two options. You can buy her a cooler (much more cost-effective) or you can offer to keep the ice for her in your home. But then you have a stranger going in and out to get ice.

And what if she is using the ice to make daiquiris? Then you have to get her a blender too. And probably all the ingredients since you'll feel bad making her make you daiquiris on her own dime when she's so poor she can't get ice cubes and all. But then with all the free cold booze around, and standing in the hot sun, and not having a job and all, she's just going to end up an alcoholic. And then you have to sponsor her for AA and shit, which is really time-consuming when you have better stuff to be doing -- like drinking drinks with ice cubes that you worked hard to pay for instead of standing by the side of the road hoping for someone to toss a bag of "Igloo" your way.

I guess, in sum, I'm glad I didn't help her out. People are so goddamned greedy.

1 comment:

Yankee Girl said...

The only way that would have worked out is if she was willing to share the daiquiris with you. Then you wouldn't have to worry about anything else because you would be bombed too.